Proverbs 28:1 talks about being as bold as a lion. We want to be this bold but sometimes fear gets in the way and we allow our fears to block us from reaching for our dreams. We are hesitant to step out and face our fears and if we leave these fears to fester inside, we can become more anxious and the fear can become greater.
I believe that one of the keys to becoming more bold is to first identify what our fears are. Give the fear a name. Then once we know what we are dealing with, we can start to build a strategy for addressing this fear. For instance, why do we fear this particular thing? Did something happen to us in the past that makes us feel hesitant? Did we witness something terrible? What is the root of the fear? Is there a basis for the fear or is their evidence to counteract the fear? Worry and fear can become so prevalent in our lives that we become petrified of moving forward. But when we take the fear and bring it into the light and examine the evidence, or in many cases, the lack of evidence for the fear, we can begin to take steps toward healing. Then we will feel more confident to pursue our goals.
Some of us worry that we are not good enough. Or some of us have a fear of failure. Some of us worry about the unknown or worry about all the bad things we hear on the news. There are many things that we could worry about and if we worried about every bad thing that could happen, we could spend our whole day worrying. However, I want to pose the following question to these fears: If you spent all day worrying about these things, has it ever changed anything? No! It only freezes us in place, so we don't step out and take a chance.
So let's take a look at the fear that we are not good enough. Maybe someone told you that you were not a good enough singer or mathematician or basketball player or whatever you are working towards. Do not listen to those people. The world is full of people who will tell us we cannot make it or we cannot do something. Maybe your own thoughts tell you that you are not good enough. First tell yourself "stop" then take the thought and replace it with "I am good enough!" and "I can do this!" Repeat this to yourself. Say "I am good enough and I am a unique, strong individual."
Let's take a look at the fear of failure. Say I am afraid of starting a business because I am afraid it might fail. If I don't at least step out and try to start the business, I might spend my whole life wondering what could have been. Say I am afraid of not being a good enough basketball player to get on a team, if my heart is basketball and if I don't at least try my best to get on the team, I will never know if I could have made it. Don't let fear hinder you from adding to this world, your unique talent.
Let's take a look at the fear of the unknown. This is a big fear that I hear a lot about; the big "what-if's." This fear is linked to many of the other fears out there. We may be afraid of the future and what could happen to us. We may be afraid that the opportunity might not work out. We may be afraid that we won't be able to pay our bills. We might be afraid that we majored in the wrong field. As I said earlier, if we thought about all the bad things that could potentially happen to us, we could spend our whole life worrying. Worrying brings stress to our lives and increases our feelings of anxiety. Instead of giving this fear any more focus, let's focus on the positive.
I encourage you to take out a piece of paper or your journal or type this electronically:
Write at the top of the page the title 10 Things I Completed. Then list 10 things that you have successfully completed whether small or great. For example, I successfully made dinner, I successfully read a book, I successfully completed high school or my AA degree and so on.
Let's continue this positivity. Next write at the top of the page 10 Good Things in My Life. Then list 10 good things or people in your life.
Next you can list some goals or things you want to work on. You can break these tasks down into smaller tasks to help you accomplish your goals. The key is to look at yourself and your life more positively. You may always battle fear, but battle it, don't let it win. Take a step toward your goals and keep making small steps every day. Use some organization to help you, seek out people who support you and encourage you toward your goals. Remember to work towards boldness, and have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Brie-Anna M. Willey, LMHC, CRC
Shekinah Counseling
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