Does your past and your present seem to collide? Do you feel like the past is haunting you and interfering with your day to day life? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may help to untangle these occurrences while also building coping strategies. We also work on processing the negative belief and building more healthy thinking. 

I can provide an assessment to determine how I can help and together we can build a plan to work through the difficulties as a team. Call us today at 941-807-2670 or email us at info@shekinahcounseling.com

​Brie-Anna M. Willey, LMHC, CRC, CTP, QS
Shekinah Counseling and Consulting LLC

Shekinah Counseling is now offering telehealth to help provide access to mental health counseling during this difficulty. Telehealth is offered through a HIPAA compliant video counseling format. Also many insurances are now paying for telehealth and many pay for permanent telehealth. I am also able to provide virtual EMDR through a program called RemotEMDR.

The process is you would call and ask for an appointment, we would verify your insurance if applicable and then we would discuss video counseling which is the preferred method or if you do not have access to a computer, Please do not drive during the meeting as we need to ensure focus on the counseling techniques as well as your safety.

The process for video counseling is that we would ask for your email and send you a link which you click on prior to the meeting.

Maintaining confidentiality during online counseling is essential. I will ensure that the room I am in is confidential. Please also ensure that the room you are using is also free from distractions and private so that others do not hear the conversation. 

Please call us today to schedule a video counseling meeting. 

Brie-Anna Willey, LMHC, CRC
941-807-2670
briewilley@shekinahcounseling.com

Do you feel like your loved ones or significant other does not understand you or listen to you? It can be extremely frustrating when you do not feel heard. It can feel like the emotions are out of control or are at least very difficult to control. Here are a few ideas to help manage the difficult emotions and anxieties.

1. Deep Breathing: Deep abdominal breathing is a helpful strategy for many kinds of difficult situations including being stuck in traffic, long lines, upcoming holidays, difficult conversations, interviews, and just stress in general. It can also help with managing anxiety, anger and extreme emotions. Breathe in slowly and deeply from the diaphragm or belly, hold that for a few seconds, breathe out slowly for a few seconds. Repeat.
2. Exercise: Walking, running, biking, sports, these can all be great stress relievers. Personally, I like to run outside because I get the added benefit of some vitamin D from the sun and some fresh air. Find a park or a peaceful place. You can bring a buddy for added fun and socialization. Check with your doctor about exercising if you have a medical condition.
3. Time outdoors: Google the local parks, beach and other peaceful locations. Find some shade and bring a favorite or new book and try to be mindful of the enjoyment involved with such a peaceful and serene environment.
4. Pause from electronics: Constant notifications can be distracting, and we can end up spending hours on our devices and not finish what we started. Put it down for a few minutes if your job allows.
5. Meditate: Now this is viewed differently by everyone. I personally like to spend time reading the Bible and praying and trying to clear my mind from the distractions around me. There are many apps out there to help with meditation depending on your view on this topic. You can adapt meditation to your own belief system and define it yourself. We are all unique individuals.
6. Boundaries and Organization: Setting boundaries around your personal time, your work time, relationship time and many other aspects of your life can help you to feel a little more in control of your life. I have a physical calendar where I record my time for work, time for managing social media, time for school, and all the other things in my life. Organization can lead to peace of mind. Part of boundaries around personal time is understanding yourself and your likes and dislikes, identifying your interests and spending time participating in those interests. For example, I like to create art and jewelry. I need to spend some time doing those things which help me feel more fulfilled and helps me take a break from work. Also, being more organized, in keeping a physical or digital calendar brings peace of mind because it is recorded and then you know where to look when you become anxious. Another tip is keeping a note log, if you become distracted just jot the note down in your “memo’s” and wala, one less item to worry about.

If you would like to find out more about how to apply these coping strategies in your life, check out my website at www.shekinahcounseling.com or give me a call or send me a message.

Brie-Anna M. Willey, MA, LMHC, CRC
Shekinah Counseling
600 8th Ave. W. Suite 303
Palmetto FL 34221
941-807-2670

Proverbs 28:1 talks about being as bold as a lion. We want to be this bold but sometimes fear gets in the way and we allow our fears to block us from reaching for our dreams. We are hesitant to step out and face our fears and if we leave these fears to fester inside, we can become more anxious and the fear can become greater.

I believe that one of the keys to becoming more bold is to first identify what our fears are. Give the fear a name. Then once we know what we are dealing with, we can start to build a strategy for addressing this fear. For instance, why do we fear this particular thing? Did something happen to us in the past that makes us feel hesitant? Did we witness something terrible? What is the root of the fear? Is there a basis for the fear or is their evidence to counteract the fear? Worry and fear can become so prevalent in our lives that we become petrified of moving forward. But when we take the fear and bring it into the light and examine the evidence, or in many cases, the lack of evidence for the fear, we can begin to take steps toward healing. Then we will feel more confident to pursue our goals.

Some of us worry that we are not good enough. Or some of us have a fear of failure. Some of us worry about the unknown or worry about all the bad things we hear on the news. There are many things that we could worry about and if we worried about every bad thing that could happen, we could spend our whole day worrying. However, I want to pose the following question to these fears: If you spent all day worrying about these things, has it ever changed anything? No! It only freezes us in place, so we don't step out and take a chance.

So let's take a look at the fear that we are not good enough. Maybe someone told you that you were not a good enough singer or mathematician or basketball player or whatever you are working towards. Do not listen to those people. The world is full of people who will tell us we cannot make it or we cannot do something. Maybe your own thoughts tell you that you are not good enough. First tell yourself "stop" then take the thought and replace it with "I am good enough!"  and "I can do this!" Repeat this to yourself. Say "I am good enough and I am a unique, strong individual."

Let's take a look at the fear of failure. Say I am afraid of starting a business because I am afraid it might fail. If I don't at least step out and try to start the business, I might spend my whole life wondering what could have been. Say I am afraid of not being a good enough basketball player to get on a team, if my heart is basketball and if I don't at least try my best to get on the team, I will never know if I could have made it. Don't let fear hinder you from adding to this world, your unique talent.

Let's take a look at the fear of the unknown. This is a big fear that I hear a lot about; the big "what-if's."  This fear is linked to many of the other fears out there. We may be afraid of the future and what could happen to us. We may be afraid that the opportunity might not work out. We may be afraid that we won't be able to pay our bills. We might be afraid that we majored in the wrong field. As I said earlier, if we thought about all the bad things that could potentially happen to us, we could spend our whole life worrying. Worrying brings stress to our lives and increases our feelings of anxiety. Instead of giving this fear any more focus, let's focus on the positive.

I encourage you to take out a piece of paper or your journal or type this electronically:

Write at the top of the page the title 10 Things I Completed. Then list 10 things that you have successfully completed whether small or great. For example, I successfully made dinner, I successfully read a book, I successfully completed high school or my AA degree and so on.

Let's continue this positivity. Next write at the top of the page 10 Good Things in My Life. Then list 10 good things or people in your life.

Next you can list some goals or things you want to work on. You can break these tasks down into smaller tasks to help you accomplish your goals. The key is to look at yourself and your life more positively. You may always battle fear, but battle it, don't let it win. Take a step toward your goals and keep making small steps every day. Use some organization to help you, seek out people who support you and encourage you toward your goals. Remember to work towards boldness, and have confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Brie-Anna M. Willey, LMHC, CRC
Shekinah Counseling

Sometimes arguments get the best of us even if we have a good communication most of the time. But we can work through our differences to take steps toward common goals even if we do not agree about everything. When we are in the middle of an argument with our significant other, we can pause and think about our feelings during that time and think about what started the argument. Maybe we can even say, in a kind way, "I need a minute to think." And then walk away and think about what is happening before reacting. Some ideas to consider:

1) What started the argument? So ask yourself, what really started this argument? If you can't remember what started it then maybe it really isn't that big of a deal. Maybe go back to your significant other and ask them if they remember and if they do not, this may be an opportunity to bring in some humor to the situation. Have fun together, don't always be too serious.

2) Misinterpreted statements: Sometimes we go from 0 to 60 in our emotional reactions when something is said and misinterpreted. Sometimes we assume meaning that isn't there. It can be helpful to ask them what they mean instead of just jumping to conclusions quickly. This pausing and asking instead of reacting can take time to learn especially if we are somewhat reactive individuals. However, it can be done!

3) Irrational conclusions: Ask yourself questions like, am I reacting logically to this statement or situation and if I am, how can I talk about it in a way that is not hurtful but gives the other person a chance to respond and so together we can correct the situation?

4) Overreactions: Ultimatums and threats are not very helpful when trying to move toward goals together. They can escalate the situation and lead to irrational actions on both sides. It is better to walk away for a few minutes and cool down and then address the issue.

On the other side of the coin, structured arguments or 'discussions,' can bring healing to a couple. If we don't address issues when they are small, they can grow into something bigger that is more difficult to address later.

1) We can be proactive in our discussions and can help bring positive change to our relationships when we think before we speak. Maybe keep a journal and write down what upsets you, analyze why and whether it is rational or irrational and then address this in a calm manner later. Try to keep sarcasm and swearing out of the discussion. This just leads to more misinterpretation and escalation. Try instead to keep your voice calm. If you cannot do that at that moment, it's OK to take time to calm down and revisit the argument later with a cool head.

2) Give your spouse or significant other a chance to give their opinions and viewpoint. Ask them what they think and let them speak without interrupting. This helps foster communication and helps them to feel heard which can bring healing.

3) Practice appropriate boundaries. Appropriate boundaries protects us and our significant others and helps us to be respectful of each others wishes while maintaining our own sense of self. Boundaries can bring healing to a couple and foster mutual respect. I highly recommend the book Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Boundaries are helpful in all kinds of relationships including families, work relationships and with friends.

4) After the argument, spend some time together. Discuss something else that you both agree on. Speak healing and loving words.

Safety first: And remember, if there are safety issues or abuse happening in the relationship, talk to a professional for guidance and seek safety, seek help. Remember you are not alone and can talk to someone about steps toward safety. Talk to a local shelter, talk to a professional. Here is the National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/
1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Brie-Anna M. Willey, LMHC, CRC
Shekinah Counseling
www.shekinahcounseling.com
941-807-2670

Do you take time for yourself? For instance, what are your current hobbies or what hobbies did you participate in before you started feeling down? Did you read romance novels or action or another genre? Did you go to the beach or take a walk once a week? Did you hang out with a friend or siblings? Or go to a movie and get some popcorn? Did you listen to music just for the enjoyment of listening? Start thinking of the things you used to enjoy. Make a list. Then I would advise you to pick one or two items from the list and make a date to do this hobby or activity. Yes, add it to your calendar. You need YOU time. There is only one of you in this whole world so you need to take care of yourself.

Let’s talk about another life balance issue; saying yes too much. Are you an individual who says yes all the time when people ask you to do something? Does this ever bother you or interfere in your life and goals? Then I would advise you to take some time before you give an answer. Tell them you will think about it instead of just saying yes and then after you have thought about it, respond. This gives you time to see if you can fit it in to your other responsibilities. It is OK to say no once in a while.

Or are you an individual who almost always says no? A friend asks you to go to a movie and you respond that you have too much housework to do. To this I say, yes it is important to keep up on housework but it is wise to have balance in regards to social interaction, housework, work, homework, TV or Netflix time, social media and everything else that vies for our attention. It is OK to say yes sometimes and it is also OK to say no sometimes.

I also struggle with finding balance and I do think this is something we have to constantly watch.

We need to stay vigilant to identify where there are areas where we are getting out of balance.

Is life getting you down? Is work piling up and you can't seem to find a place to start? Maybe you just need to take your breaks. You don't have to leave your job to feel rested. You don't need to run away from your responsibilities at home or at work. All you need to do is find a way to find peace where you are at. You can bug out or run away without running away!

Personally, I take a book to work or read my Kindle or Nook App on my personal computer or phone. Right now I'm reading North and South by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell.

Or I will find some time to go running after work, get some sun and just spend a little time by myself absorbing beautiful nature. Where is your place of peace? What do you like to do to feel rested? Some people like to knit or crochet, others play music. Make an effort do follow a peace routine daily. It will help. Trust me, I have to do this myself or I get stressed out too!